Monday, May 3, 2010

SLEEPING IT OFF

LIBRA HOROSCOPE (from astrology.com): Your mood is a little down right now, so you might find it easier to just nap or otherwise dawdle the day away. Things are going to get better pretty soon, especially if one special person comes your way!

Laura’s Log:
I am so mad at myself! I fell into a dark funk last night over the fact that stupid Ken didn’t think I was worthy of a second date. Sure, I went through a rage cycle. Screw him! He’s a loser! Still obsessed with a girlfriend from a year ago,…creepy! Putting him down didn’t make me feel any better. A bit worse, in fact. If he was a loser, what did it mean when even losers were summarily rejecting me now? Thirty-two and single, prospects dimming. I walked to the convenience store across the street, bought a tub of Häagen-Dazs Mint Chip and consumed the whole thing in five joyless minutes. Fell asleep right after that and then had to get up at one in the morning to let poor Tupper out. He’s the innocent in all this. My suffering shouldn’t add to his. I’m not worthy of dating and I suck at taking care of my dog.

When my alarm went off, the night’s pseudo rest hadn’t helped my mood or my facial complexion. Raccoon eyes. Datelessness shall extend into perpetuity!

I kept to myself during morning break and lunch. Pretty much worked right through. Background research on savings and loan ad campaigns was infinitely more fascinating than my life. Went home straight after work, let Tupper out and decided to cocoon in bed. Maybe the Canucks will put in another good game and give me a little pleasure.

KEN’S JOURNAL:
SARA CALLED RIGHT AFTER GETTING THE KIDS OFF TO SCHOOL THIS MORNING. “I’M SORRY I DIDN’T CALL YESTERDAY. EVERYTHING WAS…WELL, WHAT IT ALWAYS IS THESE DAYS. HOW’D YOU MAKE OUT?”

“IT SUCKED, SARA. THE MILESTONES SUCK.”

“YEAH.”

NOTHING MORE TO SAY. FOR DIFFERENT REASONS, WE WERE BOTH EMOTIONALLY SPENT.

“I NEED TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE,” SHE FINALLY SAID. “I’M THINKING OF GETTING BACK INTO MY PHOTOGRAPHY.” GREAT NEWS! SHE NEEDED SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT BESIDES BEING A WIFE AND MOTHER, ESPECIALLY SINCE NEITHER ROLE HAD BEEN PARTICULARLY SATISFYING LATELY. SHE CAME BY MY PLACE AND WE WALKED UP TO ART BEATUS GALLERY TO SEE A NEW PHOTOGRAPHIC EXHIBIT CALLED STREETHEADS. I TEND TO STRUGGLE IN GRASPING WHAT MAKES A PHOTOGRAPH SO COMPELLING, BUT SARA WAS IN HER ELEMENT. AFTER ONLY A COUPLE OF MINUTES, SHE WAS MOVED TO TEARS. I WONDERED IF IT WAS SOLELY ON ACCOUNT OF THE ART OR IF SHE JUST NEEDED ANOTHER CHANNEL FOR LETTING OUT HER DOMESTIC WOES.

WE ATE LEBANESE FOOD AT NUBA. BOTH OF US WENT BACK TO BEING SUBDUED. AFTER WALKING BACK TO MY PLACE, SHE HEADED HOME AND I CLIMBED BACK INTO BED. I DIDN’T HAVE THE ENERGY TO DO ANYTHING BEFORE THE CANUCKS GAME. EVEN WITHOUT A JOB, MONDAYS SEEM LIKE THE WORST DAY OF THE WEEK.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

A NO-SHOW IN THE FAMILY

LIBRA HOROSCOPE (from astrology.com): You’re stuck in the past in some small way today, and you might have to struggle to come back to reality. Even the hottest ringtone isn’t guaranteed to get your attention at this point, so watch out.

Laura’s Log:
Family brunch proved more dysfunctional than usual. Estelle and Lucy showed, their conversation going as deep as “Pass the salt” and “Whose earring is this?” All around awkward. Marella wasn’t having any of it. She grabbed me as she headed out to the back deck for a smoke. “Christ, what the fuck is with everybody?”

I filled Marella in and she rolled her eyes. “How the hell did I get stuck in the world’s most boring soap opera? Why doesn’t one of them just choke the other so this fucking fight is done with?”

When Marella starts to sound (more) like a sailor, it means she’s not getting any. While I’ve proven I can go months, even years, without sex, Marella falls apart after a week. A spurned Marella is a spewing Marella. I shouldn’t have, but I went there. “How’s the dating going these days?”

“Fuck dating! All men are pricks!” So predictable. I had to giggle. “Fuck you! What’s so great about your dating life?”

Nothing. Joke over. Ken hadn’t bothered to call after the first date. That’s what I get for thinking I had the upper hand. A questionably worthy guy got to take control and authoritatively say I was the unworthy one. I headed inside, done with the fresh air. The cigarette smoke was ruining it all anyway.

When the meal was served, Dad’s seat remained empty. Mom explained, “Your father insisted on going in to work today. I swear they take him for granted.” She got it half right anyway.

Where was Dad? It didn’t surprise me that he was a no-show for the family meal. He wouldn’t have been great company—not that Marella and the feuding Lucy and Estelle were. He wouldn’t want to fake it in answering the offhand “How’s work?”

Back home, there was only a voicemail from Jenny saying she was coming over from the Sunshine Coast at some point this week. Could she stay at my place?

I’d call her back later. For the time being, all I could do was yank the phone cord out of the outlet. Its silence was killing me.

KEN’S JOURNAL:

HOW THE HELL DID MAY COME ALONG SO FAST? I HATE MAY 2 MORE THAN ANY OTHER DAY OF THE YEAR. AT LEAST THIS TIME IT HAD THE COMMON SENSE TO BE COLD AND RAINY. GLOOMY WEATHER FOR A MISERABLE OCCASION.

FOUR YEARS AGO TODAY, MOM DIED. SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE MADE A FULL RECOVERY. FUCKING CANCER! GONE AT 56. AND MOTHER’S DAY IS A WEEK AWAY. MORE MISERY. NORMALLY SARA & I GET TOGETHER ON THE 2ND—GO FOR A WALK OR GRAB A COFFEE. ANYTHING SO AS NOT TO FACE IT ALONE. SHE’S TOO CONSUMED W/FAMILY DRAMA. I DIDN’T DARE CALL.

I’M HAVING A HARD TIME COPING. IF I SO MUCH AS BLINK, I VISUALIZE MOM. NOT THE TIMES WHEN SHE WALKED US TO SCHOOL OR MADE US CHOCOLATE SUNDAES. ALL I SEE IS A CLUMP OF HER HAIR IN HER HAND OR HER BODY HOOKED UP TO MACHINES.

FOUR YEARS AGO. WHOEVER SAID, “TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS” WAS A FUCKIN’ MORON. WHAT KIND OF WOUNDS DID HE KNOW ABOUT? MOSQUITO BITES? STUBBED TOES? CANCER STOLE MY MOTHER. SHE CAN’T BE REPLACED. SHE CAN’T BE FORGOTTEN.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

TIME FOR FAMILY

LIBRA HOROSCOPE (from astrology.com): You need to show your family just how much you care — it’s easy! Your good social energy helps you express your innermost emotions with delicate ease, so get in there and start doing some communicating.

Laura’s Log:

Neither Mom nor Dad was home when I stopped by last night. I headed home to find no messages on my voicemail. No call from Ken. It surprised me that I was disappointed.

Got up this morning and headed to my parents’, Tupper in tow. Dad likes dogs and I thought Tupps could bring a little cheer. I found Dad in his usual spot in the garage. He was tinkering with an old clock that I remembered being in the family room when I was a kid.

“Gosh, where did you find that?!” I asked. “And why are you fiddling with it? Just chuck it.”

Dad answered gruffly, “Just ’cuz something’s old doesn’t mean you dump it.” And just like that, we weren’t talking about the clock anymore.

“Are you okay, Dad?”

“No.” I waited for more, but that was it. Tupper wiggled his tail and nudged up against his leg, but Dad ignored the dog. Confirmation that everything was not all right. I suggested a walk with the dog or our regular trek to Café Calabria.

“Pass. I’ve got a clock to fix.”

“That’s it, Dad. We’re going for coffee. I’m just going to hand Tupper over to Mom.”

When I returned, no Dad. It felt like a little kid running away. His car was still in the driveway so I took to the street. As I turned down Commercial, I spotted him ducking into the produce store. Tagged him at the cheese counter. We had an audience, not something either of us likes, but I had to speak my mind before he whacked me in the knee with a can of Roma tomatoes and tried to make another mad dash. “You’re upset. I get it. Hell, I’d be pissed.”

“Watch your language. I don’t like hearing you talk like that.”

“Dad, you’ve lost your job. Right now, I can tell you feel you’ve lost more than that.”

“My honor. My dignity. After all those years…”

I put a hand on each of his shoulders and looked right into his eyes. “So find a silver lining. You’re always working even when you’re not on the clock. Slow down.”

He back up, letting my arms fall to my sides. “You slow down, you die. Albert Festeriga died three weeks after he retired. Joe Baderkowski was let go and died only a week later.”

“So do something new. Hang out with your grandkids. Play Bocce. Stain the back deck.”

And, with a crowd watching, Dad started shaking. He teared up. Then he leaned into me and all I could do was hold him. I started crying, too. Dad gave everything to his work and now they’d sent him out on their timeline with Dad feeling utterly worthless and lacking a sense of direction.

Still holding him, I managed to shuffle us closer to the less crowded freezer section. Once recovered, we headed for coffee. He didn’t want to talk about his predicament so we talked Canucks. And, for some reason, I mentioned my date with Ken.

“Don’t tell Mom,” I cautioned.

“Of course not! I wouldn’t do that to you.” A jest at Mom’s expense only brought us closer.

KEN’S JOURNAL:
ROUNDED UP ETHAN, BELLA AND RUDY TO TAKE THEM TO CAPILANO SUSPENSION BRIDGE THIS MORNING. SARA AND JERRY NEEDED SOME TIME W/TRAVIS. THEY’RE TRYING A FAMILY COUNSELOR.

“I’VE BEEN TO THAT STUPID BRIDGE LIKE 57 TIMES,” RUDY GRIPED. NEITHER BELLA NOR ETHAN HOPPED ON THE BAD MOOD TRAIN.

“WELL, WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO WHEN WE’RE DONE?”

“HOME. HOW COME TRAVIS RULES EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS TO ME?” I GLANCED IN THE REARVIEW MIRROR. JUST THE MENTION OF TRAVIS’ NAME MADE THE OTHER TWO TENSE.

BELLA GOT TEARY. “I HAVE TOO MANY BROTHERS. HOW COME I’M THE ONLY GIRL? IT’S NOT FAIR. IF TRAVIS GOT SENT TO JAIL, IT WOULD A BIT FAIRER.”

DID SARA KNOW THIS? DID TRAVIS? THE KIDS RESENTED HIM. HATED HIM…AND NOT IN THE NORMAL SIBLING RIVALRY WAY. HOW MUCH COULD ONE COUNSELOR DO? AND HOW FAST?

AFTER THE BRIDGE, WE DIDN’T GO STRAIGHT HOME. WE HAD LUNCH AT DQ. SURE THE KIDS LOVED IT, BUT IT WAS A SELFISH DECISION. I NEEDED A TREAT.

Friday, April 30, 2010

ANYONE FOR SECONDS?

LIBRA HOROSCOPE (from astrology.com): You can make startling progress today, as long as you keep from starting off in a new direction. There is time for that later, and you’ve got your eye on a few upcoming milestones.

Laura’s Log:

OK, I stayed for more than a drink. After two rounds, drinks became dinner. Ken proved to be refreshing. Not an arrogant ass trying to show he’s above me. In fact, he was funny in a self-deprecating way. It made for comfortable conversation. I was able to keep up with the Canuck talk and I was glad to be able to listen as he shared his disappointment in the dissolution of his long-term relationship with Clara. So many guys act like they’ve moved on without even a superficial wound after a breakup. Ken showed his vulnerability.

Do we have chemistry? Never thought I’d say it but…maybe.

I have to focus more on Dad today. This is his last day of work before he’s unceremoniously booted. And, as far as I can tell, he still hasn’t told Mom. I called her at the salon and pointedly asked “What’s new?” and “How’s Dad?”

“What’s with the inquisition?” she shot back. “Why are you checking up on me? Nothing’s new. But I’ve got a manicure to to do, honey, so I can’t chat with you now. If you’re lonely, call Estelle. I think she goes a little stir crazy dealing with Elmo and Barney and stroller mommies all day.”

I’ll swing by after work. Mom will think I’m losing it and renew her push for me to go out with Betty Ng’s son. I’ll risk it. Dad needs some support right now.

KEN’S JOURNAL:
TOTALLY BLEW THE DATE. I MEAN, SHE STUCK AROUND LONGER THAN I’D THOUGHT. A FULL DINNER! I HAD A SHOT. AND THEN I STRAYED FROM MY GAME PLAN. RAN ON AND ON AND ON AND ON…ABOUT THE CANUCKS. IT’S THE PLAYOFFS. SURE I’M OBSESSED. SHE TRIED TO BE POLITE—EVEN MENTIONED HER DISAPPOINTMENT WITH RAYMOND AND BURROWS IN THE FIRST ROUND. WOMEN ALWAYS TALK ABOUT MASON RAYMOND. SARA SAYS IT’S HIS EYES. WTF?! IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT GOAL PRODUCTION!

AFTER I MANAGED TO GET MYSELF OFF THE CANUCKS CONVERSATION, IT ONLY TOOK 10 MIN B/F I WAS GOING ON ABOUT CLARA. NO! DON’T GO THERE! BACK OUT QUICKLY! LAURA KEPT ASKING QUESTIONS AND I KEPT ANSWERING. EVEN I KNOW YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TALK ABOUT YOUR EX ON A 1ST DATE. SADLY, BRAIN HAD NO CONTROL OVER MOUTH.

AT LEAST I DIDN’T DRINK TOO MUCH.

IS A 2ND DATE IN THE WORKS? DOUBTFUL. DO I CALL HER & HUMILIATE MYSELF? THINKING ABOUT IT…

THANK GOD THERE’S THE NEW BIZ TO WORRY ABOUT. CHECKED ON THE RENOS TODAY & THINGS ARE LOOKING AWESOME. I CAN SEE IT NOW! SHOULD BE DONE IN 4-5 DAYS ACCORDING TO CARL(A). SIGN WENT UP THIS AFTERNOON. MARTY CAME BY FOR THE OCCASION AND CARL(A) SNAPPED SOME PICS OF US. I ADDED THEM TO THE WEBSITE. STILL NO FOLLOWERS (EXCEPT SARA AND MARTY’S MOM) BUT I BLOGGED THE PROGRESS W/THE BIZ. SOUNDED SO ROSY I HAD TO GO BACK & TONE IT DOWN A TAD. DON’T WANT TO COME OFF AS AN OSMOND. LA LA LA LA LA, HAPPY, HAPPY.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

A NEW LOOK

LIBRA HOROSCOPE (from astrology.com): Shopping may consume your mind today, even if you don’t ordinarily lose it over the bargain bins. It’s a good time for you to get good deals and take home anything you really need.

Laura’s Log:

I always make it a point to follow my horoscope when it tells me it’s a day for shopping. I hit South Granville right after work and felt compelled to wander into Misch. No bargain bins there! Stores like Misch calm me. The lighting, the clean way clothes are displayed,…Sure beats the chaos and neglect of The Bay. Walked out with the cutest top and pants from Forte Forte. I’ll wear them for drinks tonight with Ken. No, not because I’m trying to look good for him. I need to feel calm and confident as I play it cool. Just a drink and then goodnight.

KEN’S JOURNAL:
NERVOUS ABOUT TONITE. AFTER SEVERAL CHANCE MTGS W/LAURA, I THINK THIS IS MY FINAL SHOT @ GETTING HER TO SEE ME AS MORE INTERESTING THAN A POST. I STARTED GOING THRU MY CLOSET @ NOON AND, AFTER 30 MIN OF DUMPING EVERYTHING ONTO THE BED, I DECIDED TO BUY SOMETHING NEW. HEADED TO HARRY ROSEN AND PSYCHED MYSELF UP. I REALLY HATE SHOPPING AND THE ROSEN STAFF MAKES A POINT OF OVERLOOKING ME. ONE LOOK AND THEY DECIDE I’M BAD FOR BIZ. SOMEONE SHOO HIM OUT ASAP!

FUCK THAT! I IMMEDIATELY WENT TO—ACCOSTED?—A FIFTY-YEAR-OLD WOMAN ON STAFF AND TOLD HER ABOUT MY DATE. DID HER SURPRISE STEM FROM MY STORMING INTO THE STORE, APPROACHING HER OR HAVING A DATE? (HERE’S WHERE THAT ALL OF THE ABOVE OPTION COMES IN.) AFTER AN HOUR OF TRYING THINGS ON, I DECIDED ON A CASUAL LOOK. WE WERE MEETING AT BIN 942 SO I DIDN’T WANT TO LOOK TOO CORPORATE. ENDED UP SHELLING OUT $400 ON A RED J LINDEBERG HOODY AND A PAIR OF BLACK JEANS BY BOSS BLACK. CONSIDERING I COULD’VE SPENT THAT MUCH ON JUST JEANS, I WAS WALKING OUT W/A BARGAIN. SO WHY DOES IT FEEL LIKE I SHOULD UP MY LINE OF CREDIT?

CAN’T SAY I DIDN’T TRY. HOPE THE CLOTHES HELP. NOTES TO SELF: DON’T DRINK TOO MUCH, DON’T TALK TOO MUCH ABOUT THE CANUCKS, DON’T TALK ABOUT CLARA…BASICALLY, BE SOMEONE OTHER THAN SELF.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

PHONING IT IN

LIBRA HOROSCOPE (from astrology.com): It’s perfectly okay for you to deal with your own emotions and needs first today — everyone else is! If you feel selfish, remember that you have to take care of yourself if you want to help others.

Laura’s Log:
I woke up in a funk. I’d gone to bed feeling worried about Dad losing his job at the end of the week, wondering what it would take to get Lucy and Estelle to talk again and thinking that sex-crazed and single Millie might be me in another forty years. Have to admit the last thought bothered me the most. Does that mean I’m self-absorbed?

When I walked Tupper, I stopped in at a Starbucks, figuring I needed my latté fix earlier than usual. Unfortunately, there was a twentysomething couple in front of me and they couldn’t stop fondling and kissing. I tried to dismiss it as a one night stand that would flicker out once they managed to separate themselves. The negative thought wasn’t much comfort.

At lunch, I was on my own and, walking through downtown, I seemed to keep getting behind hand-holding couples. Unfair! This is the corporate world! Everyone’s supposed to be power walking and power talking. No warmth allowed!

And then as I walked home, a woman thrust a flyer in my hand as I started across the Granville Street Bridge. I’d said, “No thank you”, but her arm was extended like a security gate, forcing me to take the unwanted piece of paper before gaining passage. Vancouver Executive Dating Service. Was she being that forceful with every pedestrian or did she just know that I was in dire need?

Back in my apartment, I was in more depressed than when the day began. I told myself I didn’t need anyone. I had Tupper. I had my dysfunctional family. I had my friends (when they weren’t dated obnoxious men). Dammit, my booster talk wasn’t working. In my vulnerable state, I took out the napkin from the drawer with all the plastic bags and I called him.

KEN’S JOURNAL:

SHE CALLED! DON’T KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED. MAYBE HORNY OLD MILLIE THREATENED TO TAKE HER ALONG TO SINGLES NIGHT AT THE SENIORS CENTER. MAYBE HER LAST BOYFRIEND HAD CONVINCED HER THAT SHE COULD ONLY BE WITH DWEEBS LIKE ME. MAYBE PIGS HAD FINALLY TAKEN FLIGHT ON A FARM IN ABBOTSFORD.

“HI. IT’S LAURA.” IT’S A GOOD THING THEY BANNED USING CELL PHONES WHEN DRIVING BECAUSE I THINK I WOULD’VE CRASHED MY VEHICLE HAD I NOT PULLED OVER. WE CHATTED BRIEFLY, COMPARING NOTES ABOUT OUR STRANGE VISITS WITH MILLIE IN THE HOSPITAL. AND THEN SHE SAID, “WELL, I OWE YOU A DRINK. HOW ABOUT TOMORROW?”

OK, SHE WAS REALLY PLAYING DOWN THE ATTRACTION TO ME. A DEBT TO REPAY. A TWO-TON OBLIGATION THAT SHE NEEDED TO GET OFF HER BACK. I’VE LEARNED TO TAKE THINGS HOWEVER THEY COME. A DRINK WITH A PRETTY LADY? ABSOLUTELY!

TOMORROW NIGHT. 7 P.M. CAN’T COME SOON ENUF.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

SEXED UP GRANNY

LIBRA HOROSCOPE (from astrology.com): All that energy has to be good for something — and you should think of exactly the right project! You may want to track down an ex, redecorate your home or convince your boss to give you a raise. Anything is possible!

Laura’s Log:

Turned out Millie broke her hip. I stopped by last night, but she was asleep and I didn’t want to wake her. I doubt one sleeps well with massive hip pain. Take the sleep when you can get it. I left my small bouquet with a note. Sadly, there was no other sign of visitors.

I returned after work today with more flowers, a crossword puzzle book and the latest issue of “Hello!” magazine. Figured she might be a Prince William follower. Millie was awake and alert when I arrived. Yesterday’s flowers were joined by an orchid plant. Glad to know she’d had other company.

“Hi, dear,” she said. She flashed her set of tiny, crooked teeth, showing she wasn’t in undue pain. A relief. (Hospitals make me squeamish. I was thrilled she had a private room. Last thing I wanted to fixate on was someone’s IV bag.)

“How are you?” I asked as I made room for the latest gifts on her bedside table.

“Well, I’m afraid they’re going to have to call someone up to take my place for the rest of the playoffs. Between you and me, I think the Sedins will do just fine without me.” A sense of humor is always a good sign. “By the way,” she added, “you just missed your friend.”

“My friend?”

“Why, Ken! The nice gentleman with the cocoa.”

“Oh, we’re not really friends. We barely—”

“Now just because I’m an old lady doesn’t mean I’m a prude. You can talk about sex with me, honey.” More humor, I hoped.

“Really, Millie, we don’t—”

“He’s smitten with you. He didn’t come right out and say it, but I know these things. I set my best friend up Gladys with her future husband. He turned out to be a schmuck, but it was love for awhile. That’s something.”

“Nice.”

“He says he doesn’t think you’re going to call him. Now why in heavens not, honey? Are you in a relationship?”

I couldn’t lie to an old lady. I shook my head.

“Then, for heaven’s sake, call the man. He’s got a little extra padding, but honey they all do eventually. I always say it’s just more to love. And he’s such a sweet man. Now I don’t want you making visits to see me if it means you’re neglecting your sex life. If you come see me again—and I really hope you do, dear—you’d better have good news on the sex front.”

Gramma Millie had an inclination for saying sex a lot. Perhaps she could find a horny older gentleman in the wing and talk the doc into a Viagra prescription. Anything to shift the attention away from me.

KEN’S JOURNAL:
NO CALL FROM LAURA. JUST AS I EXPECTED. (SO WHY DOES IT STING?) I STOPPED BY VGH WITH A PLANT FOR MILLIE, THE LADY WHO TOOK A FALL YESTERDAY. I WANTED TO SEE SHE WAS OKAY, BUT—HERE’S WHERE I SHOW HOW PATHETIC I AM—I WAS ALSO HOPING I’D RUN INTO LAURA AGAIN. SEEMS WE DO THAT A LOT.

NOT THIS TIME. I LINGERED AS MILLIE WENT ON AND ON ABOUT A NEIGHBOR ABOVE HER (AT HOME, NOT THE HOSPITAL) WHO ALWAYS HAD LOUD SEX. MILLIE DIDN’T RAISE IT AS A COMPLAINT. I GOT THE SENSE SHE LIKED TO TALK A LITTLE SMUT. JUST WISH IT WASN’T IN MY COMPANY. I LIKE TO THINK OF LITTLE OLD LADIES MAKING TEA AND KNITTING BOOTIES FOR FREEZING ORPHANS IN THE ARCTIC.

I SHOULD’VE BEEN CONTENT TO HEAR ABOUT THE NEIGHBOR BECAUSE, AFTER THAT STORY RAN ITS COURSE, SHE GRILLED ME. “SO, KEN, ARE YOU A LOUD ONE?”

“HUH?” SHE WASN’T ASKING WHAT I THOUGHT SHE WAS ASKING. WAS SHE?

“DO YOU SCREAM AND YELL DIRTY THINGS WHEN YOU’RE GOING AT IT IN BED?” SHE WAS.

“UH, WELL,…I GENERALLY SLEEP ALONE.”

SEEMS I DISAPPOINTED HER. I WONDERED IF SHE COULD PAY TO WATCH PORN AT THE HOSPITAL. (BUT THEN SHE MIGHT GET ANOTHER INJURY.) SHE STARED AT ME, MAKING ME UNCOMFORTABLE. “I THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE SEX WITH LAURA. SHE LEFT ME THE LOVELIEST NOTE, YOU KNOW.”

“UH, MILLIE, THAT DOESN’T EXACTLY LAY THE GROUNDWORK FOR LAURA AND ME GETTING INVOLVED.”

ANOTHER LONG STARE. THEN A SMILE. “YOU’VE TAKEN A SHINE TO HER, HAVEN’T YOU? NOW LET ME GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE…”

ON AND ON SHE RAMBLED. THIS TIME, I LISTENED. HEY, YOU NEVER KNOW.