Thursday, January 21, 2010

TULIPS AND THE SEDINS MAKE IT ALL GOOD

January 21, 2010
LIBRA HOROSCOPE: Build alliances, both at work and socially. Your network can expand amazingly now.

Laura’s Log:
Tupper’s no worse for wear. Mom wasn’t happy dogsitting yesterday, but I couldn’t leave him alone. “So you’re dropping him off so he’ll barf all over my carpets? I should think it would be good for Tupper to puke repeatedly on that worn down rug in your apartment. That landlord needs to replace the carpeting anyway. There are diseases lurching in the surfaces, you know. Dr. Oz says—”

Normally it’s rude to walk out mid-sentence on someone—especially when they’re caring for your sick dog—but Mom doesn’t pause on the period. You have to create your moment. Brought her a bright batch of tulips when I picked up the dog at day’s end and all was forgiven. “Oh, they’re just lovely, dear. You really shouldn’t have. You should be saving up your money for a condo so that you can get out of that—”

Wonderful to start the day off back in the normal routine. Cute guy was not working at Starbucks again today. Did he quit? Did he get discovered and flown to Hollywood? Two-movie career starring opposite that hot new actress with all the buzz, What’s Her Name, and then back again. I’ll still be ordering my lattés, but hate having to hold off on the eye candy. It’s the simple pleasures…

Ann-Marie approached me first thing at work. “We’re building a case against Ernesto,” she solemnly declared over the whir of the photocopier. “What sexual advances has he made on you?”

“Actually, none.”

“No, seriously,” she persisted. “It’s OK. You can tell. It’s all in confidence right now. HR is creating a file and the company’s lawyers are on it. His sex-dominant reign is going to fall apart in the next week or two.”

“He’s done nothing, I swear.”

“Oh, come on. He hits on everyone.” Hmm, not on me. Should I be insulted that I’m NOT being sexually harassed? “Don’t you get dragged in on weekends?”

“Yes. Most recently, this past Sunday.”

“And you actually worked?”

“Yes. Worked. Ernesto was demanding, but not sexually.”

“You know, it’s not wise to fall for your boss.” And then she stormed off, slightly panicked, feeling as though she’d confided in the boss’ confidante.

It took the rest of the day to try to convince Ann-Marie I wasn’t sleeping with Ernesto. She still thinks I’m the office whore. Turns out everyone thinks I’m screwing the boss. I have this legendary sex life that’s complete fiction.

With Ernesto. Eww.


KEN’S JOURNAL (via Blackberry):
I’M ALIVE. CAN’T BELIEVE NO BARF BAGS ON FLOAT PLANE. STEREOTYPE SHATTERED—NOT ALL FAT PEOPLE ARE JOLLY. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU TOSS YOUR COOKIES (BANANA MUFFIN, ACTUALLY) ON THE PRECIOUS BABY. APOLOGIZED PROFUSELY, BUT I SWEAR THEY WANTED TO EJECT ME W/O A PARACHUTE.

VICTORIA PLAYED ALOOF DURING MTG. MAYBE LINGERING VOMIT BREATH KEPT HER @ BAY. HAVE TO BE SOME PERKS RIDING IN FLOAT PLANE. AFTERNOON MTG COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME—BUT THEN MOST ARE. @ LEAST DAY ENDED W/CANUCKS WINNING. CAN’T BELIEVE THEY EVEN LET OILERS MAKE A GAME OF IT. TGFS (THANK GOD FOR SEDINS)!

LUNCH W/THE BOSS TODAY. THINKING OF ASKING FOR RAISE. HE TALKS BIG ON RECESSION BUT I STUMBLED ON THE FINANCIALS WHEN POPPED IN ON WEEKEND. (OK, HAD TO PICK THE LOCK ON HIS FILING CABINET.) MORE BOOM THAN BUST. ALWAYS TOUCHY SUBJECT. RUMOR IS THAT WHEN LYDIA ASKED FOR RAISE LAST SUMMER, HE FIRED HER BY END OF THE WEEK.

DINNER TONITE W/GIL @ SALTLIK [SIC]. HE’S PUSHING TO GET ME TO INVEST IN HIS NEXT FILM. SUPPOSEDLY MEG RYAN IS INTERESTED BUT WHEN WAS HER LAST HIT? STILL, IF I GET THE AXE, I MAY NEED ANOTHER CAREER PATH.

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