Monday, February 1, 2010

GETTING OUT THERE (KICKING & SCREAMING)

February 1, 2010
LIBRA HOROSCOPE (from astrology.com): Your social nature can't be denied, and today you find yourself with more time than usual for mixing it up with new people. You should get out there or get online to meet new people!

Laura’s Log:
Why does my horoscope sound like my mother? Of course, I’ve got more time. I’m jobless! I don’t WANT to get out there and meet new people. A get a whole week to wallow, don’t I? Tomorrow will be different.

Maybe I do need to meet new people though. Not a boyfriend. For once, that’s the last thing on my mind. It’s just not the right time. Pretty sure that “I’m unemployed” won’t impress during the speed round of five basic questions. (I suppose one or two might be intrigued by the answer to a followup. “I was allegedly the office slut. Can you imagine?” Still, I don’t want to date a perv. That’s Marella’s territory.)

Left a voicemail with Nadia on Saturday and she still hasn’t returned the call. It never used to be that way. And, of course, I called AND emailed Tamara, apologizing profusely for somehow implying that I’m not in total support of her blossoming relationship. I’m sure I’ve got a few more days of the silent treatment.

Katherine called last night. Wants me to join her in Puerto Vallarta to escape Vancouver during the Olympics. I don’t have the money. Besides, I want to be here during the festivities.

“Do you have tickets?” she asked.

“No.”

“What do you care about biathlon or even hockey?”

“I don’t actually. But it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity—”

“To not care in your own backyard.”

“Yes. Exactly. Well, except for the fact I have no backyard.”

Katherine didn’t get it. But the Olympics aren’t about logic. They’re a time when you block out politics, your Visa balance (if you can, considering the incessant airing of Visa commercials) and Lady Gaga. You throw yourself into a patriotic tizzy, idolizing some twenty-eight-year-old Albertan who has devoted his entire adult life to going headfirst down an ice tunnel on a cafeteria tray. And you get teary over the athlete from Ghana who left her family six years ago in search of snow and a decent ski rental. Just thinking about it makes me want to order a Tim Hortons double double—not sure what that gets you, but it’s quirky Hortonspeak—instead of my Starbucks nonfat latté. OK, almost. Maybe when the Games roll.

Guess I’ll sort of take my horoscope to heart. I’ll go online. See what people are saying about Pink’s dizzying Grammy performance. Was she really singing live while spinning and dripping?! Did the audience get glittered? If so, who had to get Jay-Z a towel?


KEN’S JOURNAL (via Blackberry):
DINNER WITH SARA AND THE KIDS LAST NIGHT. WHATDOYAKNOW, JERRY WAS THERE, TOO! DOESN’T FLY OFF TO REGINA UNTIL TUESDAY. I DON’T KNOW HOW SARA HANDLES ALL THE FAMILY ISSUES WHEN HE’S GONE SO MUCH.

TRAVIS HAS CHANGED SO MUCH OVER THE PAST YR. HE’S MOSTLY ALL GRUNTS WHEN HE SURFACES FROM HIS BASEMENT LAIR. WAS I THAT MOODY IN 8TH GRADE? YEAH, PROBABLY. STILL, IT’S A BIT HUMBLING. USED TO BE THE COOL UNCLE. NOW I’M JUST ANOTHER ANNOYING ADULT WHO WARRANTS A SCOWL.

THE OTHER KIDS ARE CUTE AND CHATTY AS EVER. THEY BOUNCED ABOUT IN THE FAMILY ROOM AS “G-FORCE” BLARED IN THE BACKGROUND—AN INANE CAPER ABOUT TOO-CLEVER RODENTS. RUDY GAVE ME THE ENTIRE PLOT IN NINETY SECONDS, NEVER TAKING A BREATH. NORMALLY I HATE HAVING THE ENDING REVEALED. GIMME “TOY STORY” ANY DAY OVER THIS CRAP. ETHAN AND BELLA MADE ME A CROWN TO MAKE ME KING KEN. “WHAT ABOUT YOUR DADDY?” I ASKED. “SHOULDN’T HE BE THE KING?” “N-NO,” ETHAN SAID. “HE JUST N-NEEDS TO BE D-DADDY.” TOUCHÉ.

JERRY WAS IN HIS HOME OFFICE MOST OF THE TIME I WAS OVER. HE AND TRAV EMERGED FOR DINNER BUT IT REALLY WAS THE SARA SHOW. I HELPED IN THE KITCHEN AFTEWARD & KEPT MY MOUTH SHUT. SHE GETS PISSED WHEN I QUESTION WHAT THE HELL JERRY THINKS BEING A FATHER IS ABOUT.

GOT TO READ ETHAN THE NEW BOOK I BOUGHT HIM AT BEDTIME: THING-THING. NOW THAT’S A COOL BOOK. HE LOVED IT! SADLY, IT’S MUCH BETTER THAN ANYTHING BY GRISHAM.

BEFORE I LEFT, SARA TOOK A COUPLE MORE PICS OF ME IN THE DINING ROOM FOR MY PLENTYOFFISH PROFILE. I’VE DECIDED I WILL MSG SOMEONE TONITE. GOTTA GET THE BALL ROLLING.

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