THE MORNING AFTER

February 13, 2010
LIBRA HOROSCOPE (from astrology.com): Work a little creativity into your routines today -- you can be more playful and still get stuff done! Your great mood only gets better as you sing or craft your way through the day's tasks.

Laura’s Log:
Reading today’s horoscope makes me wonder who they’re writing this stuff for. I’m supposed to sing or—gasp!—CRAFT my way through my routines?! I’m the type of singer who would cough up the following critique from Simon (S)Cowell: “If I’m being honest with you, that was excruciatingly painful. Don’t sing ever sing in public again. As a matter of fact, don’t sing in the shower, don’t sing around your dog, don’t even hum.” In third grade Mrs. Liu let me clean erasers while the rest of the class learned “This Land Is Your Land” and “Ebony and Ivory”. For the Christmas concert, she had the sense to assign me ushering and lighting duties. Crafts? My only stab at knitting a sock produced a wad of wool with three gaping holes before the first wear. (Not that I ever wore the single, sad looking waste of wool.) How am I supposed to “craft” through the day? Thirty-two is a bit old for macaroni art or building a fort out of Popsicle sticks. Where do I get a second opinion for today’s horoscope?

Mom is breathing a sigh of relief this morning. I got a text message from Lucy and, yes, she was in the protests yesterday, but she didn’t get arrested. Slight disappointment detected in her tone; total elation from Mom. I say it only prolongs the inevitable. Lucy won’t rest until an arrest.

Turns out Marella was nowhere near the Opening Ceremonies last night. According to a brief email, she’s in Boise—Boise?!—with a hot lawyer she hooked up with. In her words: “wears suits from Sears but once I get the clothes off, talk about a marvel in design!”

Have to dash off for coffee with Tamara. I anticipate it will be coffee, walk, lunch and shopping with Tamara. Anything I can think of to keep her moving and to distract her from the brutal news that Andy chose Edmonton over her. With apologies to Edmontonians, how does anyone cope with knowing Edmonton won out? I have no idea what to tell her to make things better. Poor Tamara. Gone from Have to Have Not on the eve of V-Day. I predict her credit card will take a major hit today. My Visa, too. I have to be a good friend, right? Solidarity through shopping!

KEN’S JOURNAL (via BlackBerry):
WOKE TO LEW SNORING ON THE SOFA. HE’S NOT KIDDING WHEN HE SAYS WOMEN BREAK UP WITH HIM BECAUSE OF HIS SNORING. I SWEAR THE WALLS SHOOK—AND THEY’RE CONCRETE! WE ALL GOT MESSED UP AGAIN WITH TOO MUCH BOOZE LAST NITE. NEVER MADE IT TO DAVID LAM PARK—TOO MUCH RAIN. HAD TO DRINK OUR WAY THRU THE OPENING CEREMONIES. I ALWAYS FORGET WHAT A SNOOZE THE OPENERS ARE. BUNCH OF ATHLETES WE DON’T KNOW YET MARCHING IN. WHOOPEE. NO NHL PLAYERS, OF COURSE. THEN NELLY & BRYAN SINGING SOMETHING BLAND AND SOME POOR DUDE (OR DUDETTE—COULDN’T TELL) FLOATING IN THE AIR OVER WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE PRAIRIES. DRINK OR NAP, NOT MUCH OF A CHOICE. AND THE DRINKING WENT INTO HIGH GEAR WHEN OPERA LADY SHOWED UP TO SING THE OLYMPIC ANTHEM. HOW LONG HAD SHE KEPT HER FINGER IN A SOCKET TO GET HER HAIR TO DO THAT? MARGE SIMPSON WLD BE ENVIOUS.

THINKING WE’LL FORK OVER A HUNDRED BUCKS EACH TO CHECK OUT THINGS @ HOCKEY HOUSE LATER IN THE DAY. GET THE FEELING WE’RE BEING TAKEN, BUT I GUESS I’M TOO STUPID TO RESIST. YOU CALL IT HOCKEY HOUSE, I GOTTA GO. I’M WIRED THAT WAY.