Thursday, April 8, 2010

BULLIES & BONGS

LIBRA HOROSCOPE (from astrology.com): Explore your artistic or intellectual side today — you’ve got plenty of creative energy to spare! It’s one thing to make sure that you’re not just spinning your wheels, and another entirely to move forward quickly!

Laura’s Log:
Bullies don’t have a have a shelf life that expires with a high school diploma (or whatever dropping out docs they get). They go on to wreak havoc in workplaces, causing competent employees to seek employment elsewhere and/or take advantage of the company’s counseling program. The problem is that bullies have infiltrated too many offices. Can they be avoided?

I went from Ernesto to Derrick. Progress? No. Derrick. Interesting spelling. I like to think of it as a composite of two words: err and dick. Some names are the perfect fit.

You’re lucky if you have a coworker like Janice. I don’t even know her, but she stopped by work at 7:30 last night—forgot her tickets to blood.claat in her desk. “What are you still doing here?” she asked.

Caught me after one of my crying episodes. God knows how scary I must have looked with mascara creating a bad Goth look. “Just getting some work done.”

She dropped her purse on my desk. “You dated Derrick, didn’t you?”

With that, I opened the floodgates, words and tears gushing. “That was…before I started here….He seemed…nice…at first…sort of…I have to…finish this by…4:30…tomorrow…I’m going to get…fired….I’m still on…probation….I’m going…to get fired. I’m…going…to…get…fired.”

“Stupid shit!” Was that for me or for Derrick? “What’s the assignment?” I handed her the memo. After twenty seconds, she threw it on the ground and said, “Bullshit! It’s all bullshit! He’s working on a campaign for a home and garden show and for a cupcake chain. This is a fucking waste of company time!”

WTF? I knew the assignment was overbroad, but a complete make-work task?! Janice picked up the memo. “You go home. Now! I’m going to take this memo up with the partners tomorrow.”

“But—”

“Go! Your job is safe. Trust me. Just go!”

Once home, I managed to let Tupper out and then crashed. I vaguely recall a conversation with Gabriel, but I must have fallen asleep midway through the call. I awakened to find my cell by my feet under the covers this morning.

New day. Don’t know what’s going to happen at work. My horoscope says I’m supposed to be creative. Can’t imagine how. All I can think of is coping.


KEN’S JOURNAL:
WEIRD HAVING A KID AROUND 24/7. ESPECIALLY ONE WHO COMMUNICATES IN GRUNTS & GLARES. I DECIDED TO BE UNCONVENTIONAL & RENTED “EASY RIDER” LAST NITE. TRAVIS DIDN’T WANT TO WATCH, BUT AFTER ALL THE DRUG IMAGES IN THE 1ST 10 MIN, I HEARD HIM QUIETLY UTTER “COOL”.

YEAH, A BIG RISK. MAYBE MY DUMBEST MOVE EVER. MAYBE CONFIRMATION OF THE FACT THAT I SHOULD NEVER EVER HAVE KIDS. SHOWING A DRUG MOVIE TO A 13 YR OLD JUST GETTING INTO DRUGS? SARA COULD FORBID ME FROM EVER SEEING THE KIDS AGAIN.

BUT MIDWAY THRU, WHEN JACK NICHOLSON SAYS HE’S NEVER SMOKED A JOINT B/F—NO AMOUNT OF ACTING CHOPS MAKES THAT BELIEVABLE!—WE STARTED TALKING. I’VE NEVER UNDERSTOOD THE LOVE FOR “EASY RIDER”. MAYBE YOU HAVE TO BE HIGH WHILE YOU WATCH IT—LIKE A PINK FLOYD LASER SHOW. BUT THE SPARSE DIALOG GAVE US A CHANCE TO TALK. TRAVIS OPENED UP (AS MUCH AS A TEEN POTHEAD IS GONNA OPEN UP TO HIS UNCLE).

IT GOT AROUND TO MY ASKING, “WHY YOU DO IT?”

“I DUNNO. NOTHING ELSE TO DO.”

“ALL YOUR FRIENDS DO IT?”

“YEAH. I GUESS.”

“I GUESS? THAT MEANS SOME DON’T?”

“YEAH. I GUESS.”

OK, MAYBE THERE WAS A LOT OF EDITING TO DO TO GET TO THE MEAT OF THE CONVERSATION. BASICALLY, IT’S EASIER TO HANG OUT W/THE KIDS ON DOPE. THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE TO DO TO FIT IN IS JOIN IN. TRAVIS ADMITTED THAT MOST OF THE GUYS WERE LIKE THE DENNIS HOPPER CHARACTER: BASICALLY, BEAVIS OR BUTT-HEAD.

“ARE THEY FUN?” I ASKED.

“I DUNNO. I GUESS.” AND THEN, “MAYBE NOT.” IT WAS THE OPENING I HOPED FOR. WE GOT TO TALKING ABOUT WHAT’S FUN. HE REALLY COULDN’T COME UP W/ANYTHING. EVENTUALLY HE ADMITTED HE LIKED ROCK CLIMBING. THEN HE SAID, “ROWING WOULD BE COOL.”

ROWING?! WHERE’D THAT COME FROM? I GOT HIM TO AGREE TO GO KAYAKING W/ME TODAY OUT OF FALSE CREEK.

HAVE I GOT HIM OFF DRUGS? PROBABLY NOT. HAVE I MADE A NEW START IN CONNECTING W/TRAVIS?

I DUNNO. I GUESS.

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