PHONING IT IN

LIBRA HOROSCOPE (from astrology.com): It’s perfectly okay for you to deal with your own emotions and needs first today — everyone else is! If you feel selfish, remember that you have to take care of yourself if you want to help others.

Laura’s Log:
I woke up in a funk. I’d gone to bed feeling worried about Dad losing his job at the end of the week, wondering what it would take to get Lucy and Estelle to talk again and thinking that sex-crazed and single Millie might be me in another forty years. Have to admit the last thought bothered me the most. Does that mean I’m self-absorbed?

When I walked Tupper, I stopped in at a Starbucks, figuring I needed my latté fix earlier than usual. Unfortunately, there was a twentysomething couple in front of me and they couldn’t stop fondling and kissing. I tried to dismiss it as a one night stand that would flicker out once they managed to separate themselves. The negative thought wasn’t much comfort.

At lunch, I was on my own and, walking through downtown, I seemed to keep getting behind hand-holding couples. Unfair! This is the corporate world! Everyone’s supposed to be power walking and power talking. No warmth allowed!

And then as I walked home, a woman thrust a flyer in my hand as I started across the Granville Street Bridge. I’d said, “No thank you”, but her arm was extended like a security gate, forcing me to take the unwanted piece of paper before gaining passage. Vancouver Executive Dating Service. Was she being that forceful with every pedestrian or did she just know that I was in dire need?

Back in my apartment, I was in more depressed than when the day began. I told myself I didn’t need anyone. I had Tupper. I had my dysfunctional family. I had my friends (when they weren’t dated obnoxious men). Dammit, my booster talk wasn’t working. In my vulnerable state, I took out the napkin from the drawer with all the plastic bags and I called him.

KEN’S JOURNAL:
SHE CALLED! DON’T KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED. MAYBE HORNY OLD MILLIE THREATENED TO TAKE HER ALONG TO SINGLES NIGHT AT THE SENIORS CENTER. MAYBE HER LAST BOYFRIEND HAD CONVINCED HER THAT SHE COULD ONLY BE WITH DWEEBS LIKE ME. MAYBE PIGS HAD FINALLY TAKEN FLIGHT ON A FARM IN ABBOTSFORD.

“HI. IT’S LAURA.” IT’S A GOOD THING THEY BANNED USING CELL PHONES WHEN DRIVING BECAUSE I THINK I WOULD’VE CRASHED MY VEHICLE HAD I NOT PULLED OVER. WE CHATTED BRIEFLY, COMPARING NOTES ABOUT OUR STRANGE VISITS WITH MILLIE IN THE HOSPITAL. AND THEN SHE SAID, “WELL, I OWE YOU A DRINK. HOW ABOUT TOMORROW?”

OK, SHE WAS REALLY PLAYING DOWN THE ATTRACTION TO ME. A DEBT TO REPAY. A TWO-TON OBLIGATION THAT SHE NEEDED TO GET OFF HER BACK. I’VE LEARNED TO TAKE THINGS HOWEVER THEY COME. A DRINK WITH A PRETTY LADY? ABSOLUTELY!

TOMORROW NIGHT. 7 P.M. CAN’T COME SOON ENUF.