Thursday, March 11, 2010

A KINK IN DATING…OR KINKY DATING?

LIBRA HOROSCOPE (from astrology.com): Your energy provides all the good times you need today — so run with it! You may acquire a few followers, who are all too likely to make life even sweeter, at least for the time being.

Laura’s Log:
Gabriel has a roommate. It wasn’t a factor during our first date. Chris was in Calgary on business. But Chris staked out the living room last night for “American Idol” and whatever crime show followed. (What is with all the crime shows? How many splattered blood scenes with loitering police detectives do people need to intake each week?)
It felt like university, sneaking off to a dorm room as we continued our elevator foreplay in the bedroom. Even more so on account of the coed atmosphere. Turns out Chris is a woman.

Okay, so I don’t entirely believe Billy Crystal’s assertion in “When Harry Met Sally” that men and women can never be just friends. But still, it was uncomfortable flinging my blouse on the floor as another woman was a wall away. Exchanging forced smiles as I wore Gabriel’s robe and headed for the shower didn’t help. The sex was good, not great. And that’s a major letdown from Opening Night.

I blame Chris. Everything was muted, the motions more contained. (The bed squeaks, after all.) Okay, I blame Gabriel, too. Thirty-five-year-old men should not have roommates and most certainly not of the female variety. What’s cool in college is a potential relationship buster more than a decade later.

I should take a timeout, but we’re on again for tonight. (Did I mention it’s been two years since my last romp?) It’s going to have to wind up at my place though. Sure, Tupper will hump his leg, but I’ll put on “The Dog Whisperer”, toss a rawhide chewie and Gabriel and I can work on our own animal ritual.

KEN’S JOURNAL (via BlackBerry):
WENT BACK TO THE FORERUNNERS GROUP LAST NIGHT. I WAS DETERMINED NOT TO BE LEFT IN THE WOMEN’S WAKE THIS TIME. STRETCHED FOR 15 MIN EVEN B/F HEADING OVER. CALF MUSCLE FELT FINE.

I AM PLEASED TO SAY THAT I MANAGED TO KEEP UP…WITH THE STRAGGLERS, AT LEAST. KATE IS A LOVELY 72 YEAR-OLD GRANDMOTHER WHO TALKED AT LENGTH ABOUT DOING A WATERFALL JIGSAW PUZZLE WITH HER 9 YEAR-OLD GRANDSON WHO BLOCKED ALL CONVERSATION WITH HIS IPOD AND MINERVA IS A 66 YEAR-OLD CHURCH ORGANIST WHO IS RECOVERING FROM HIP SURGERY & PLANNING TO CLIMB MOUNT KILIMANJARO IN LATE SUMMER. (OK, CONFESSION. I MADE UP THE MTN CLIMBING THING. THE EGO IS STILL FRAGILE.) WE MADE A LOVELY RUNNING TRIO. I’M SO GLAD IT STILL GETS DARK EARLY. (DON’T KNOW WHAT I’LL DO W/THE TIME CHANGE NEXT WEEK.)

KATE AND MINERVA HAD TO DASH AFTER THE RUN—SOMETHING ABOUT BRIDGE GROUP AND A GARDENING CLUB SLIDE SHOW—BUT I CAUGHT UP WITH THE REST OF THE WOMEN FOR COFFEE.

“IT WAS SO NICE OF YOU TO STAY BACK WITH THE OLDER LADIES,” MADDIE SAID, DULY IMPRESSED. “SUCH A GENTLEMAN!”

YEAH, THAT’S IT. NO FRICKIN’ WAY I WAS GONNA CORRECT HER. SHE EVEN GAVE ME HER NUMBER AFTER I FEIGNED INTEREST IN THE DA VINCI EXHIBIT AT THE VANCOUVER ART GALLERY. CHECKED THE WEBSITE WHEN I GOT HOME. ANATOMICAL DRAWINGS. SOUNDS LIKE A SNOOZER. DON’T BELIEVE ME? CHECK OUT THIS, RIGHT OF THE SITE, INTENDED TO DRUM UP INTEREST:

INCLUDED ARE THE FIRST KNOWN ACCURATE DEPICTIONS OF THE SPINAL COLUMN AND TWO MAGISTERIAL SHEETS DEPICTING THE MUSCULATURE OF THE LOWER LEGS AND FEET.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! WHAT IS SHE, A FOOT FETISHIST?

OKAY, IT LOOKS LIKE I’VE GOT A DATE, BUT HOW CAN SOMETHING GROW FROM GAZING AT SKETCHES OF LOWER LEGS AND FEET? TALK ABOUT A POST-OLYMPICS LETDOWN!

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