LIBRA HOROSCOPE (from astrology.com): You need to deal with some old, but still pressing issues -- further delay is sure to work against you. Today's big business can wait for a while, so don't hesitate to put it on the back burner.
Of course Katherine wore white. Why do people with tans still look so radiant when we all know the exposure is a bad thing? When will pasty come into vogue? Tilda Swinton, where have you gone?
As much as I love Tamara and Nadia, it felt good to mix with a different crowd for Oscar watching. Must have been close to thirty people crammed into Katherine’s condo. I overlooked the fact they were shameless “Avatar” fans and enjoyed myself. (The Bellinis helped!) And as good as Bradley Cooper, Gerard Butler, Jake Gyllenhaal and Ben Stiller looked—yes, who can resist a man in blue?—I found myself sneaking glimpses of Katherine’s cousin Gabriel more than anything else. For four years, I’ve had sporadic Gabriel sightings and I’ve never been able to say more than “Don’t you hate the rain?” which is really the Vancouver equivalent to “Hi. How are you?”
When I arrived, he seemed to be hanging on a slut named Rachelle. Okay, she was more Tenley than Tila Tequila, but she was dominating Gabriel’s time, something I had hoped to be doing. After my third Bellini, I felt brave (buzzed) enough to approach him. (Rachelle had moved on to showing Katherine how to fold napkins to look like swans. So ’80s, right?) My time with Gabriel started out awkwardly—five minutes about what makes a good hummus (tahini is an especially funny word after a few Bellinis)—but picked up as we shared a common a longing for Nicole Richie and Mariah Carey to go away. Okay, who doesn’t want them to disappear, but I have to choose safe topics when I’m crushing on a guy. Too much at stake to start bashing Sandra Bullock’s acting. We did, however, find more depth as he confessed that he was rooting for “Up in the Air”. (Okay, maybe not much depth, but it was the Oscars, people!) My love for that movie has nothing—or very little—to do with my own recent firing and isn’t even solely based on the fact George Clooney is in almost every frame.
Imagine my shock when I said I hadn’t seen “An Education” yet and he asked if I wanted to go Tuesday night.
Oscar, I love you!
KEN’S JOURNAL (via BlackBerry):
HARD DAY TODAY. WOKE W/A SICK FEELING, THE KIND WHERE YOU WANT TO VOMIT, NEED TO VOMIT, BUT CAN’T. CLARA’S BIRTHDAY. USED TO DO THINGS UP BIG FOR HER. PROBABLY WLD HAVE FLOWN HER TO SAN FRAN OR CHICAGO FOR THE WKEND. AND NOW SHE’S…WHERE? IN JAKARTA? MOVED ON TO THAILAND? WHO HAS SHE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH? HOW THRILLED IS SHE TO BE RID OF ME?
SO MANY GUYS FORGET ANNIVERSARIES, BIRTHDAYS, DRY CLEANING. WHY CAN’T I? WHY CAN’T I KEEP MY BRAIN 100% ON THE CANUCKS. HENRIK’S BOUNCING BACK, DEMITRA’S SHINING,…HECK, EVEN WELLIE’S GETTING POINTS. FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE.
WHAT’LL IT TAKE TO MOVE ON FROM CLARA? ANOTHER WOMAN? MAYBE, BUT I PITY THE NEXT ONE IF I CAN’T FULLY DE-CLARA-FY MY LIFE. CALLED BRAD AS SOON AS HIS OFFICE OPENED @ 9 A.M. HE’S FITTING ME IN FOR AN EMERGENCY SESSION @ 2 THIS AFTERNOON. I’LL JUST TELL THE BOSS IT’S A MEDICAL APPTMT. HE’LL THINK IT’S SOMETHING TO DO W/MY BLACK EYE & THERE’S NO WAY HE’LL QUESTION ME ON IT. THE GUY’S AN ASS, NOT AN IDIOT.
WHAT’S IT TAKE FOR ME TO MOVE ON? LACUNA, INC., I NEED YOU. (SEE “ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND”.)