LIBRA HOROSCOPE (from astrology.com): It’s time to really plumb the depths of something — maybe a relationship, maybe an idea, but definitely something that means quite a bit to you. It may not be fun, but it is sure to be rewarding.
The one good thing I can say about “American Idol” this season is it allows Nadia, Tamara and me plenty of time to talk. No need to wait for commercial breaks. Really, there’s not much I can recall about last night’s show except for a lingering need to track down Anita Baker and give her a big hug. Come back, Anita! Don’t let Ab Boy slaughter your legacy!
We had plenty to talk about. Nadia felt things out about Tamara and me sharing the same workplace. Funny, but I don’t see Tamara at all during the day so we really hadn’t had a chance to compare notes. Basically, we agree that Barry Lisduff is a sweet bumbler. Tamara contends he’s sharper than he appears. “Don’t think it’d work for anyone else,” Tamara opined, “but he’s made it to partner by exceeding low expectations. One look at him—rumpled shirt with a jelly stain, eternal fountain of sweat—and people get ready to roll their eyes when he presents. Then he says something that’s slightly above mediocre and it’s like they’re wowed. A lot of those annoying local TV ads came from Barry. It’s like people think he’s actually got something now.”
Didn’t know Barry’s work well enough to know if Tamara was bang on, but I had no reason to counter. Yes, Barry had a way of making me want to defend him against ANY criticism, but Tamara’s assessment was more marvel than moan.
When I confessed that I thought Derrick was out to get me fired, Tamara let out an angry sigh that prompted Tupper to flee to the bedroom. “Ass! Capital A, capital S, capital S. Don’t worry about him. He’s an ass with coworkers, an ass with clients, an ass with random people on the elevator. Rumor was they were trying to let him go last summer but he threatened legal action and they could never agree on severance. One of these days he’s going to go too far and make it easy to can him without coughing up a huge wad of money.”
Okay, so it wasn’t just me. Tamara’s assessment sort of put me at ease until she added, “Maybe you’ll be the one to finally send him over the edge.” I’d already been in one toxic work environment—and gotten canned along with the office lout. This time around, someone else could be the fall “guy”. (“Idol” side note: Am I the only one who still gets irked that Randy Jackson cannot seem to distinguish between gender (or can, but doesn’t give a damn)? You might be Didi or Crystal or Queen Elizabeth, but to Randy you’re still “dude”, “man”, “guy”. Bad dawg!)
Nadia hinted at some tension with Bradley. Something about an upcoming weekend trip where he’s refusing to check out a vineyard. Tamara and I just looked at one another. It’s hard when you despise your friend’s boyfriend. When do you speak up? What comes off as supportive in the moment becomes an act of sabotage a day later after they kiss and make up. Neither of us waded into it. There’s something to be said for being a good listener.
Next, Tamara talked briefly about a new guy at the gym. Blaine. Blessed with biceps. “Just not sure if he’s straight or gay.” That led to Nadia’s rapid-fire questionnaire, running down every stereotypical gay mannerism and interest. The results: inconclusive. (And I still say Céline Dion doesn’t belong on the questionnaire.)
Finally, it turned to my dating life. I didn’t rush it. We’d already talked about my work so I didn’t want to dominate the night. And we still had four more singers to talk over. That said, I got right to the point. “It’s great sex. That’s all.”
Silence. Katie Stevens made me long for Aretha…big bows in the hair and all.
Nadia finally jumped back into the conversation after throwing a pillow at the TV when Randy compared Katie to Christina Aguilera. “He’s not a sex addict, is he?”
I laughed. “No. Or, if he is, I’m keeping up.”
“Latent nympho tendencies,” Nadia diagnosed. “Good on ya!”
Tamara sought clarification. “Is good sex a problem? Or are you just trying to make me feel bad?”
It was like I was talking to a couple of guys. Clearly, Randy wasn’t the only one suffering gender confusion. I was going to have to work through my Gabriel issues on my own.
THANK GOD THE CANUCKS WON! ’K, I’M NOT 1 OF THOSE SPORTS FANS THAT THINKS GOD’S GOT A FAVE TEAM (BUT GIVEN A CHOICE B/W “IDOL”, THAT CELEBRITY DANCING SHOW & THE CANUCKS GAME, HE HAD TO BE WATCHING, RIGHT?). THE WIN IS ALSO SWEETER WHEN I GET TO SEE IT LIVE, BUT THE REAL REASON TO CHEER IS THAT IT GAVE TRAVIS & ME SOMETHING TO BOND OVER. AFTER THE HOW’S SCHOOL? WHO YA HANGIN’ WITH? AND HOW YA MAKIN’ OUT W/YOUR MOM? QUESTIONS FELL FLAT ON THE WAY TO THE GAME, IT WAS A RELIEF TO SEE THE CANUCKS COME OUT AND SCORE ON THE 1ST 2 SHOTS. TOTALLY CHANGED THE MOOD. ACTUALLY SAW TRAV SMILE. I’D FORGOTTEN HE EVEN HAD BRACES.
LOOKING BACK, IT’S DEPRESSING. HOW IS IT THAT A KID WHO’S STILL GOT BRACES IS INTO DRUGS? AS MUCH AS I WANTED TO, I DIDN’T GO NEAR THE SUBJECT. GOTTA BOND 1ST. BUT IT KILLS ME TO THINK HE MIGHT BE BEHIND SOME BUSHES @ LUNCH TODAY SMOKING CRACK. MAYBE I DON’T HAVE TIME TO BOND. MAYBE I GOTTA BE DIRECT. BUT I’M NOT HIS DAD. I DON’T HAVE THE STANDING. IT’S A FINE LINE. PUSH TOO HARD, TOO SOON & IT COULD BE 10 YRS B/F WE TALK AGAIN.
WHOSE DEALIN’ TO 13 YEAR OLDS ANYWAY? HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT? I CAN’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. CAN’T REALLY THINK ABOUT THE DESIGN FOR THE NEW OFFICE EITHER. IT’S TIME FOR MINDLESSNESS: DAYTIME TV. ANIMATED PICKLE, OCTOMOM ON “THE VIEW”, A DEMO ON MAKING A SNOWSHOE. IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR MINDLESSNESS TO BE MILDLY ENTERTAINING?
NO CHOICE BUT TO GO BACK TO SURFING OVERPRICED CONDO DUMPS ON MLS.